I wrote the below tweet the other day...
"The harder you love the harder your life. Period."
I typed it expecting the usual, you know, resistance - and I got my fair share - but it resonated with a surprising amount of people, which made me realize it could very well be the shittiest truth to ever exist.
Our entire lives we’re told by very smart and very inspiring people that doing things harder will bring us success, fulfillment, and happiness.
And they will.
But what we’re not told about is the other side of doing things harder, the side where the world, at least at first, turns a shoulder; that for every mountain of triumph there are deep wells of misery.
For those of you who choose to truly try harder, work harder, and love harder in life - just know that about 50% of your days will be spent in agony, or perceived agony. So if this sounds okay with you... then you're a very wise person.
It's okay with me. Even if you told me that 100% of my life would be miserable if I did things harder, I’d still take that life because I have no choice - I was born with the desire to do things harder; I literally can’t change that.
I’d be lying, though, if I said I didn’t secretly wish it were different. I just want to love the way I love without wondering when it’s going to hurt me, ya know? Just once - or at least consistently - I want to think and act like a normal, reasonable, rational person. I want my heart to just calm down. It’s more like I want a heart transplant. And I want that heart to be from a man who smiled every day of his life; who didn’t want great things, just good things; who never wanted what he didn’t have; who had no expectations or desires or dreams other than to give love to his family, his friends, and the world.
I may crave this languid life but I'll never have it. At the same time that twists my heart into knots I'm somehow at peace with it. The unknown. It's part of the beauty of life that we never know what dreams, what gifts, what light will come tomorrow. Or in 6 hours... or in 6 minutes... or in 6 seconds... or in…
7 comments:
I always love to hear what you have to say. It presents a different point of view...one that stops and makes you think and reflect. Thank-you.
La única gente que me importa son los locos: locos por vivir, locos por hablar, locos por amar ...
Jack Kerouac
Nunca te detengas. Felicitaciones!
For those of you who choose to truly try harder, work harder, and love harder in life – know that about 50% of your days on earth will be spent in misery, or at least what you perceive as misery.
This is hardly a universal truth. I'm sorry you feel that way.
Brian, thanks for the candor. I realize that statement is polarizing, and a lot of people would disagree. It's how I felt when I wrote it, and I wanted to honor that, as flawed or wrong as it might seem to others. I really appreciate you taking the time to give me your honest feedback.
For those of you who choose to truly try harder, work harder, and love harder in life – know that about 50% of your days on earth will be spent in misery, or at least what you perceive as misery.
Unfortunately, people who are not cursed with self-awareness will not see the truth in that statement. I too, wish somedays that I was not so concerned about trying harder. . .
Wonderful blog G.
-N
Congrats on your new blog, Gregor. How did you know I needed to read this today? Thank you!
Thanks so much for starting this blog Gregor! Perhaps just what I need right now to hear such poignant statements you make=They make me think & often put a smile on my face :)
I am one of those who do everything harder & yes my life has truly been filled with many experiences that did cause pain amidst the heartwarming love felt at the same time.
Cheers & look fw to visiting your blog regularly & I shall share with others if that is
ok?
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